Original post: Jan 2019
I remember talking to a couple of female friends a while back about how much they loved spending so much time alone (days at a time sometimes) and feeling absolutely astounded by this concept. As an introvert (though only 51% introvert according to Myers Briggs which apparently means I’m an ‘ambivert’- a word I learnt only yesterday!) I recharge my energy from being on my own and not around others (usually). I therefore already understood the joy (necessity!) of having plenty of my own company. However I also felt that I needed a balance and to be around people at least once a day. Which I guess sounds pretty normal?
Fast forward to January 2019 and I have arrived at a place of solitude I never thought I would find myself in, let alone be thriving in!
I spent most of late 2018 in England between Southampton and Glastonbury, seeing friends but only very occasionally and often parked up in my van around others, even if I wasn’t communicating with them, it was enough to be around their energy. I was usually ok and only occasionally felt a little lonely.
I left the UK in December for Portugal on a hunt for eco communities to visit and other travelling van-dwellers to connect with. What I have so far ended up doing instead is meeting a total of zero van-dwellers like me but a few French/ Dutch retired couples.
I prefer at the moment not to park up near other vans in close proximity. I seem to prefer my own space as I am picking up on the energy of others living around me too easily. I enjoyed spending the occasional afternoon with my new friends drinking coffee and they even helped me with a few technical van issues I had. On Christmas eve one of them offered to help me polish the outside of my van. ‘Why would I want to do that? I never see the outside?’ I said. 5 minutes later we were both working on my van and by the time we had finished I had constructed a whole plan in my head of other work I’d like to do. Soon after I had re-painted the whole exterior front cab.
I have a few other bits I’d like to do on my van and have no shame admitting that I have now turned fully into a retired middle-aged man who polishes his vehicle with pride every Sunday.
Aside from this I spend most days completely by myself. I am parked up at a lake now so in the wilderness it is not uncommon to never even see the face of another human being most days. It seems a little strange to admit but I don’t remember the last time I felt lonely. Right now I am still not craving human connection.
‘What do you do every day when you travel- just sort of bum around?’
…..I was once asked by one of my mum’s friends. Well, I have established some healthy morning routines by now including some energy work and a little meditation. I take my days very slowly- I might play some music, read, speak to some friends on the phone, go for a walk, listen to some podcasts, take a bath in the lake, I write in my journal a LOT, and I spend a lot of time cooking nice food for myself. It’s amazing how quickly the days go. The time spent grounding myself has recently led to a huge surge of creative energy and I have some new exciting ideas of things I’d like to do in the near future.
Every 24 hours I gain new insights and reach a new level of emotional consistency (which I have always struggled with). I can safely say this is the happiest and most consistent I’ve ever felt in my life. I’ve never felt so confident in my aloneness, independence and single-ness before and I feel hugely grateful that I am able to travel like this. I’m sure at some point I will wake up and feel the impulse to be around others and visit the communities I’ve located, but until then it’s just me. I was EXTREMELY nervous about leaving for a new country, in my van and by myself but I am so glad I pushed myself to do it as I feel sure that this will be a time I look back on forever.
Thanks for reading.
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